I spent most of last week at the AWP conference. For those of you who don’t know, this is the yearly conference for the Association of Writers and Writing Programs. Think of it as just another big ass trade conference held in the ballrooms of a swanky downtown hotel (DC this year) but instead of having panel discussions on vinyl siding, we talk about books. Unfortunately, I did not meet either an editor or agent who convulsed with joy and offered me thousands of dollars when I described my current project in the works as a short story cycle about funerals. My expectations and reality have never really gotten on the same page. But, speaking of big ass’d things, I did stay with my friend Sam, who moved to DC not too long ago. He introduced me to his charming girlfriend, his delightful and perpetually stoned roommates, and the Red Derby bar, a great place where almost none of my darts actually made it onto the board, a testament to how kindly the bar staff there treated me in spite of my refusal to remove my Penguins hat in a hockey bar in the Capitols’ town. Fuck Ovechkin. Anyway, Sam and I generally are on the same page, and he has the very specific talent of knowing what my new favorite thing is going to be before I do. We played some XBox, a guilty pleasure for me, mostly because I can’t afford it. We drank a lot of Jameson and we drank all the beers. We woke up haggard for four straight days. We talked about books and boobs. We did all of the things that I wanted to do with an old friend I haven’t seen in too long. And late one night, while having our generation’s equivalent of a heartfelt conversation, (read: trading youtube videos until we pass out in a lump on the couch) Sam once again brought a bright light into my life. Fellas, drop your phones. Ladies, JUST SHAKE IT.
Oh, the conference? It was good. I had fun, and it seems like everyone else did – by the third day the entire lobby looked like it was filled with extras from the movie I wish George Romero had in production right now, The Hungover Dead. Saw a lot of people, talked to folks, etc. Oh, and thanks to Sam, Jenny, and Mikal, for letting me daily pour my stank water down their shower drain.
